There have been many great prophets of various cosmic forces for good over the years, Muhammad, Buddha, Abraham, Zoroaster, Jesus H. Christ, Krishna and many others. These people have single handedly gone out into the world with an unflinching and unwavering zealotry in their hearts, and carved their influence into human history. While it could be said by some that The Wet Towels are merely a group of students and graduates who have far too much time on their hands, it could also be said that they are following on in this fine tradition! For once, in the dead of night, on a lone server, having completed a fine head shot, the cry "Wet Towels!" was heard. Was it uttered by the voice of a celestial being, looking down upon us and seeing the vast emptiness of our lives? Was it even uttered by human lips, or was it transferred directly into the minds of all those there, bypassing not only the microphones and headsets, but also the ears? Was it just something random Jiggs said? Was it a call to arms against the forces of militant ignorance and hatred, a desperate plea from a cottony deity, unable to bear any longer seeing humanity slipping towards the brink? Whatever the origin of this phrase, it was as if a vail had been lifted from the eyes, hearts, minds, and even souls of those on that server that night. It was decided then and there, that none would eat, sleep, or urinate until the word of Wet Towels had been spread. Soon afterwards it was pointed out that all present had been gaming for several hours, and many had work the next day, and thus it was decided that instead of spreading the good news, they would go to bed, but while lying in their beds they would always keep in their hearts and dreams, the philosophy of Wet Towels. And while the majority actually dreamed of Natalie Portman, when they gathered again they were all careful to lie about this, and claim visions of the Wet Towels. For indeed, who would not want to dream of Natalie Portman in the shower, and would this dream not, almost by necessity contain a towel, which would, almost by necessity, be wet? ... What? Oh come on, I can't be the ONLY one has that dream?! ... ... ... Lying cunts, the lot of you...

And lo, there was a group of four, Grimson, Jiggs, Mikha and Nuckpang who heard the call of the Wet Towels, and determined to spread the word, at convenient intervals. "Wet Towels!" they would proclaim, and the people would hear. And they would proclaim this again, and ye, the people would once again hear. A third time, they would call out "Wet Towels", and most of the people hear, others having invoked the mute player function. But some would hear, and be informed. Others responded, as all inquiring minds should, with questions.

"Wet towels? What's that mean?"

"Who are you people?"

"What is this joyous message you are spreading?"

"Is Mikha really a girl? Mikha, are you really a girl? OMG, she's actually a girl!"

And so the word was spread like wildfire, from server to server. Like any wildfire, it was a force for change; both destructive, doing away with the bland past of voice chat, but also leaving a seed, which given the chance will sprout up into a mighty oak of verbal wonder!

In one of his many interviews he partook in with Fox news, Grimson was faced with the accusation of The Wet Towels being a cult who blew up yellow vans. While it was obvious to Grimson, and indeed to all with a scientific knowledge of the world, that yellow vans are long since extinct, he chose to ignore this logical fallacy and deal with the issue of the religious language used by The Wet Towels.

"You see, while the love we all share for Wet Towels is clearly of a spiritual nature, it is not necessarily of a religious nature. It's true that pseudo-religious language is often used, but that's because Nuckpang's a tosser who likes to try and sound intelligent by writing as if he lived two thousand years ago. Having said that, there are some issues on which The Wet Towels resembles a religion. It's a philosophy of love for example, not unlike Christianity, or Scientology. Christians being well known for their love for Jesus, and Scientologists for their love of other people's money, we too are renowned for our love of Wet Towels. It not only adds a tremendous amount of meaning to our lives, but essentially defines who we are as human beings. After all, if you can't love a Wet Towel, what can you love?"

-Nuckpang