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News
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9, 2008
Wet Towel News Bulletin: The Olympic Flames
The process of the Olympic Flame around the world has been marred by protest and violence. While this has been hailed by many, particularly in the Olympic Council, who don't want to look like idiots for giving the Games to one of the world's worst human rights offenders as a free publicity stunt, as a tragedy and an insult to the spirit of the games, others have been much more positive on the issue.
Mr Robert Wilson, a noted expert on the Games, said "I think China's hijacking of the Olympic Games in an attempt to make themselves look like a legitimately accepted member of the global community is entirely in the spirit of the Olympics, particularly the over-hyped and carefully orchestrated 'tour of the torch', which was a tradition invented in Nazi Germany by Goebbels in 1936, and encouraged by Hitler." He maintains that it served exactly the same purpose for the Third Reich then as it does for China now, to drum up public support and give the country a legitimate face. "We even see similarities in the run up to the games, where in Berlin gypsies were arrested en mass, and we see the same thing with Tibetan monks, both of whom dress rather oddly."
The Chinese government rejects this claim, calling it "rudicras!!" and threatening to gas all who oppose them. "The only reason that we bring the torch all around the world is because we think it so pretty, and want to show it to all the nice people". When asked for a comment on the current controversy, a member of the local Chinese community queried "yoo wan fried lice wid dhat?!"
While the issues are rich and complex as China itself, and the moral bankruptcy of those involved as poor and simple as the majority of Chinese people, we can be sure of one thing: The author of this article is a blatant racist.
Wet Towel News Bulletin: The Olympic Flames
