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News
FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 2008
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Snake with Legs Found
The recent discovery of an ancient snake with small hind legs has sparked a wave of interest amongst the scientific comunity.
The 85cm-long (33in) creature, known as Eupodophis descouensi, comes from the Late Cretaceous, and was discovered in the limestone of Lebanon, near the town of al-Nammoura. While originally discovered in 2000, it has only now been throughly x-rayed, which has revealed some of the most interesting features about it.
It seems that the heel of the feet was comprised of a flat bone very much unlike the bone structure found in our own feet, or even in the feet of any reptiles today. It has been suggested by those leading the study that this had evolved as an anatomic trait which would enable them to tap dance. "The flat, hard and bony foot is perfectly suited to tap dancing, and in the many rocky plateaus which would have existed in this area would have made him the perfect stage."
It is widely believed amongst scientific circles that at this early ancestor to the snake used tap dancing, in a form almost identical to what we know today, as a mating ritual. At a press conference on the issue Christopher Roberts, the scientist leading a study, informed reporters "while many would argue that the body of the snake is not ideally suited to tap dancing, there have been a great many experiments done which have shown that even celebrities are capable of tap dancing into some form or another, and so it is not only possible, we think it is likely that the snake did indeed tap dance"
However, that this has drawn fierce criticism from the Christian right of America. One prominent critic, Mr. Kent Dawklings, said "this is the lowest form of pseudo science which the Darwinists have yet to come up with. To say that the serpents tap danced is not only blasphemous, it is lacking in any kind of logic. It is well known that tap dancing was not invented until the 19th century." When asked what could be a possible alternative Mr. Dawklings claimed that the snakes"obviously line-danced. This form of dance has been around since prehistory, and there is no reason to doubt that it existed not only before history, but also before man."
When this theory was put to him, Dr. Roberts declared "this is just another case of the Christian right trying to push their views upon the scientific community without showing any evidence whatsoever to support it. There is no proof that man learned how to line-dance by observing it in lizards. They may point to fossilised cowboy boots found, dating from roughly the same period, but to assume that these must automatically be associated with Eupodophis descouensi is frankly ridiculous."