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News
SATURDAY, APRIL 26, 2008
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Priests Set to Top Charts With Holy Hymns
Three Roman Catholic priests in Belfast are set to take the music world by storm, having signed a major record deal with Sony BGM. They were spotted by a talent scout while singing in their churches, and while their style is closer to Belfast's Christ Church than Wales's Charlotte Church, they are set to make their impact on the music charts.
The trio, ingeniusly calling themselves "The Priests", comprise of a pair of brothers, Fathers Eugene and Martin O'Hagen, along with Father David Delargy, all of whom have parishes in the diocese of Down and Connor. While local parisoners have greeted the news with a mix ... >>full
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Prison "Too Comfy" for Prisoners to Escape From
Concern has been raised in England over the state of the prison service, which has been described as being "too comfy" for prisoners to want to leave. The latest wave of controversy springs from the recent break-in at Everthorpe prison in Yorkshire, where a drug dealer scaled the prison's walls with a ladder and broke in through a cell window, where he supplied inmates with drugs and mobile phones. Despite the fact that the window was open, with a ladder leading safely down to the ground, none of the prisoners in the cell took this obvious oppertunity to escape. Glyn Travis, of the Prison Officers ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: 49 Killed by Suicide Bomber in Iraq
At least 49 people have been killed,
and another 50 injured, in a suicide bombing near the town of Kirkuk,
in northern Iraq. The attack took place at a funeral being held in a
village on the border of the Diyala region. It was originally
thought that the attack was carried out by al-Qaeda, who have been
increasingly active in the province recently, but in fact a new
group, al-Waz'ri Kora, which roughly translated means “Iraqi
GraveDiggers' Union”, has come forward to take responsibility.
An anonymous spokesman from the IGDU
said in a video sent to al-Jazeera, “this is not a situation that
...
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Concern over Irony Deficit in the Universe
There is a growing sense of unease amongst the script-writing and comedic community that they may be running out of irony. Since the early 20th Century it has been observed by scientists that the universe has a limited reserve of irony which it can dispense over a given period. In the 1950s the Irony Observation Unit was set up in the German city of Frankfurt to regulate and control the distribution of irony, as it was assumed that the control of irony would be best left in the hands of those who had least use for it. However, on the 20th of March, 2008, it ... >>full
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Modern Debate over Ancient Hieroglyphs
Controversy has erupted in the historical community with the reexamination of the funerary papyrus of Princess Entiu-ny. This papyrus was discovered in the tomb of the princess in 1974, and is one of a pair which describe her life in detail. It tells of her early life and ascension to the throne, as well as the battles which she had to fight to maintain a united kingdom in a time of great social upheaval.
It describes the famous battle of the Nile crossing, where she defeated a rebel army and secured control of the town of Bel Hasan, creating a link between Lower Egypt and the ... >>full
The recent discovery of an ancient snake with small hind legs has sparked a wave of interest amongst the scientific comunity.
The 85cm-long (33in) creature, known as Eupodophis descouensi, comes from the Late Cretaceous, and was discovered in the limestone of Lebanon, near the town of al-Nammoura. While originally discovered in 2000, it has only now been throughly x-rayed, which has revealed some of the most interesting features about it.
It seems that the heel of the feet was comprised of a flat bone very much unlike the bone structure found in our own feet, or even in the feet of any reptiles today. It ... >>full
The process of the Olympic Flame around the world has been marred by protest and violence. While this has been hailed by many, particularly in the Olympic Council, who don't want to look like idiots for giving the Games to one of the world's worst human rights offenders as a free publicity stunt, as a tragedy and an insult to the spirit of the games, others have been much more positive on the issue.
Mr Robert Wilson, a noted expert on the Games, said "I think China's hijacking of the Olympic Games in an attempt to make themselves look like a legitimately accepted member of the ... >>full
Wet Towel News Bulletin: Priests Set to Top Charts With Holy Hymns
