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News
THURSDAY, AUGUST 21, 2008
Wet Towels News Update: Bigfoot
In the first ever case of this trusted news network ever giving a piece of incorrect information, it has now emerged that the Bigfoot body, reported by Nuckpang in a recent press conference as being "definitely 100% genuine and real, no doubt about it whatsoever", was in fact a hoax.
The hoax was discovered when the ice-bound "body" was handed over to the "Searching for Bigfoot" group, a company dedicated to finding Bigfoot, for an undisclosed amount of money. As the body thawed and hair samples became exposed they were tested by those present, but suspicions were aroused when the hair was applied to flame and ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Yeti and Bigfoot race to be discovered
While in China the various races of the Olympics play themselves out, on opposite sides of the world a race of a different kind is unfolding, as two probably separate species of great ape rush to be discovered. The first break came in the United States of America when two hikers, Mathew Whitton and Rick Dyer, in the mountains of Georgia found the body of what they claim to be a deceased Bigfoot, or Sasquatch. This creature, often thought to be nothing more than myth or hoax, now seems certain to exist. More fascinating still is that the hikers observed several other living bigfoot in ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Texas Teachers to Carry Guns
A school district in Texas will allow its teachers to bring guns into the classroom in what seems to be the first law of its kind. On the 15th of August it was unamiously decided to pass the motion by the board of Harrold Independant School District, and as of yet there have been no objections from parents of the 110 students affected.
The District Superintendent, David Thweatt, said it was merely a safety precaution. "We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is [sic] 'What if someone gets in? What are we going to do? It's just common ... >>full
Wet Towels News Update: Bigfoot
