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News
MONDAY, AUGUST 18, 2008
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Yeti and Bigfoot race to be discovered
While in China the various races of the Olympics play themselves out, on opposite sides of the world a race of a different kind is unfolding, as two probably separate species of great ape rush to be discovered. The first break came in the United States of America when two hikers, Mathew Whitton and Rick Dyer, in the mountains of Georgia found the body of what they claim to be a deceased Bigfoot, or Sasquatch. This creature, often thought to be nothing more than myth or hoax, now seems certain to exist. More fascinating still is that the hikers observed several other living bigfoot in ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Texas Teachers to Carry Guns
A school district in Texas will allow its teachers to bring guns into the classroom in what seems to be the first law of its kind. On the 15th of August it was unamiously decided to pass the motion by the board of Harrold Independant School District, and as of yet there have been no objections from parents of the 110 students affected.
The District Superintendent, David Thweatt, said it was merely a safety precaution. "We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is [sic] 'What if someone gets in? What are we going to do? It's just common ... >>full
A 32 square mile area of Los Angeles has been marked as a no-go area for fast food restaurants in a newly proposed plan which would see the first ever restrictions put specifically on fast food eateries. The area affected by the plan has an abnormally high obesity rate for Los Angeles, and for America as a whole, and this push is aimed at opening a new class of healthier restaurants in the area. The new law, coming into effect later this week, will put a ban on the opening of any new fast food restaurants in the area.
While this has been hailed by politicians ... >>full
I really wish I had $30k burning a hole in my wallet right now. A genuine wooden Mattel hoverboard used by Marty McFly in Back to the Future II and III is up for auction on ebay. Apparently this particular item is recognized as the best example of all wood hoverboards to have survived the rigours of filming. I'm not sure how many wood hoverboards exist out there, but this one does look to be in pretty good shape. It even features the hole in the top of the board from where the handlebars were that Marty pulled off after borrowing this piece of awesome ... >>full
Russians be chargin their lazors.. at innocent ravers
About two weeks ago, an open air festival near Moscow turned to disaster. A few dozen Russian ravers have been "partially blinded after a laser light show burned their retinas," according to Russian health officials. After rain was forecast, a make-shift roof was erected over the all night dance party. However, these tents had the nasty side effect of refracting the uber powerful lasers used at the show into the crowds. These lasers are so powerful that it caused retinal burns for anyone unfortunate enough to look into the reflected beams for even a tiny amount of time. It was said that "scarring is visible ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Mathematical Breakthrough in Israel
Israeli Mathematicians and Economists working in the Hebrew University of Jerusalem are hailing as a breakthrough the latest developments in the Israeli/Lebanon stand-off. On Wednesday the remains of two Israeli soldiers, whose capture sparked the Israeli-Lebanon war two years ago, were returned by Hezbollah in exchange for the release of five Arab prisoners, and the return of 8 other bodies of Hezbollah fighters. This has caused great excitement in the academic arena, where they have dedicated a huge amount of resources to trying to put a value on human life. "We finally have an approximate value of how much a Jew is worth in the ... >>full
This new... gadget may be just what you're looking for after that damn sniper got you with a lucky headshot for the 20th time in a row. It's called the Ting Shou vase, and it is cleverly designed to absorb your screams and shouts, "storing" them in the vase and emitting them as a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base. Obviously this thing comes from Japan, appearing on several television shows, and quickly becoming a hit product. How much does it cost to get your own shouting vase? Only €51. Yes, €51 for some pottery that you can ... >>full
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Yeti and Bigfoot race to be discovered
