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News
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2008
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Woman Brings Dead Son to Court
Bizarre events at a Cumbrian court in England, as a mother carried the remains of her dead son into the courtroom.
Julie Strange, 43, claimed that for some time she had been bombarded with letters from the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency, informing her deceased son that he had not told them about a car sale and that despite her returning their letters explaining that he had passed away they eventually summoned him to court. Not wishing to disappoint, Mrs. Strange carried a wooden casket containing her son's ashes into the courtroom.
This move has sparked a legal furor, not only raising the issue of respect for the dead, but also that of accepting testimony from deceased persons. Up until now testimony by the dead has been largely seen to be inadmissible since the case of 1945, when Hitler's ashes were charged with contempt of court for refusing to enter a plea of guilty or not guilty in regards the charge of genocide. This had always been linked to a look of concern for earthly worries on the parts of those whose existence now transcended our own clearly defined terms of reality, and now spend their time contemplating questions the likes of which our limited senses cannot even detect, let alone understand with our nigh-powerless brains. It is now a generally accepted scientific fact that if we were to glimpse even a fragment of their wisdom, we would surely die. However, the inclusion of the ex-Mr. Strange in this case shows that they can, on occasion, come down to our insect-like levels of intelligence.
This case is, however, not without precedent. In 1974 a specteral Catholic missionary was called in as a character witness in a case involving the cannibal that killed and ate him. On cross-examination he described heaven as being like one huge drug fueled game of bingo, but warned that it was not suitable for epileptics.
Wet Towels News Bulletin: Woman Brings Dead Son to Court
